Simple Practices for Emotional Regulation
There are many ways to emotionally regulate. One of the most effective forms of emotional regulation is through nervous system regulation. Your brain and body are deeply connected—especially when it comes to emotions. When your nervous system is overwhelmed (like in fight, flight, or freeze), your body thinks you're in danger—even if you're just stressed or upset. In this state, it's much harder to: Think clearly, make good choices, respond calmly to emotions, etc.. That’s because your body is focused on survival, not reflection.
But when you regulate your nervous system (through things like deep breathing, grounding, shaking, cold water, etc.), you're helping your body feel safe again. And when your body feels safe, your emotional brain can settle down too.
Here are three simple practices focused on your nervous system to help you calm down when overwhelmed, refocus when anxious, re-energize when feelings stuck, etc..
Try something cold.
Place an ice pack on your chest for 15 mins
Splash cold water on your face
Wash your hands with cold water
Hold ice cubes in your hands
When you put something really cold—like an ice pack on your chest, ice cubes in your hand, or cold water on your skin—it shocks your body just a little. This "cold surprise" activates a special nerve called the vagus nerve, which helps calm your heart, slow your breathing, and tell your body it’s safe. It’s like pressing a reset button on your stress.
2. Try a sigh.
Start with a slow, deep belly breath through the nose
Take a second, shorter breath in right on top of the first one (without exhaling).
Slowly breathe out all the way through your mouth.
As you breath out, allow an audible sigh
As you sigh out, make it as loud and dramatic as you need to
Repeat a few times until you begin to feel the natural relief that comes along with a physiological sigh
A physiological sigh quickly calms your body and mind, reduces stress and anxiety, slows your heart rate, and helps you feel more relaxed in just a few seconds. Think of this sigh as a natural way your body resets when you're overwhelmed.
3. Try shaking.
Gently bounce, wiggle your arms and wrists, or full on shake your arms and legs
You can shake as gently or intensely as feels safe and natural in your body
You choose what parts or your body or how much of your body you want to shake
When you're feeling anxious, depressed, distressed, etc., your body can go into survival mode—also known as the fight-or-flight response. This is your nervous system's way of trying to protect you. Your heart might race, your muscles tighten, etc.
Shaking your body—even just gently—can help release that built-up tension and energy. It’s something animals naturally do after stress, and it works for humans too. When you shake, you’re giving your body a chance to discharge the stress and tell your nervous system, “It’s okay now. I’m safe.” This helps activate your body’s calming system which slows your heart rate, relaxes your muscles, etc.
I encourage you to look at these somatic resourcing options as a practice. Taking a few deep sighs or holding some ice in your palms, isn’t going to bring complete relief right away.
The more you practice and engage with ways to resource your nervous system, the quicker these resources will support with emotional regulation (calming down when upset, energizing when low, etc.) Over time, somatic resourcing will become a natural part of your routine and emotional regulation will feel more accessible.
First, try one of these practices when you aren’t feeling stressed, anxious, or tired so you get an idea of how to use the resource when a wave of emotional distress is present.
Adapt these practices and make them work for you!
